Tonight I went outside to watch Aspens jump rope routine. ( For those of you who don't know her, she's always putting on some kind of a show.) And the next thing I know, my neighbor comes over to tell me that Aspen and Jess ( another neighbor girl) are being "mean" to Mikelle, her daughter. I don't know what to do. All three of these girls live within one house of each other, are all in the same class at school, and are inseparable. What should I do? I don't tolerate meaness. I know that they're all guilty at times, including Aspen. I just feel bad that it is this way. I told Aspen that if I here that she's the one being mean, and I hear of it, she'll be grounded
. I just hope that it's not always going to be like this, I mean, I have three girls. It really puts the moms in a bad position. Of course, we each thought our daughter was the least responsible. We also knew our own daughters could be capable of being the mean one. Nobody wants to see their child be left out or hurt someone elses feelings. But what do you do? Are all girls this way? I'm terrified of this problem.
6 comments:
Oh my gosh! I just went through the same things with my girls and one of their best friends. it was so hard. I do not remember it being that way when I was little, but everyone said it is. i think what it all boils down to is jelousy. Especially if their is an odd # of girls. I have just learned to deal with it and make sure my girls know how inportant it is to be nice.
Hope you and your girls can meet us at Fiesta fun on Thurs. At 2:00 If not when they get out of school.
Were we ever mean? I can't recall,(at least not to each other.) When my kids are misbehaving I threaten to tell on them to MY mom. I follow the threat with, "You know how mad I get when someone hurts your feeings? Well MY mom has been a MOM much longer than I have and knows how to make kids shape up!"The last thing they want to do is disappoint The Gag. What would Bobby say if his grands were MISBEHAVING? I know what he'd do if YOU did!!!!!!
April,
I don't know if you will remember me or not but I cheered with Camerlee and judge tryouts with you a few years ago. I just want to let you know how much I have always looked up to you. You are one of the most gorgeous people that I have ever known but more important than that was you were the nicest. You would always said hi to me and made everyone around you feel comfortable and important. I am sure that you have passed this on to your girls just through your example. I also think that it is kind of lame when other parents are "tattle-tailing", every child has their days and when the roles are reversed does she want you knocking on her door. I think the best thing to do is let them work it out.
Dana Karren Ross
April,
O.K. first of all, how is the new house going? I am so tired all the time, and the boxes seem to never end. Do you have as much crap as I do? Seriously, I do not know where most of it comes from. 2nd, the whole little girl drama thing...I am so sick of it too. I remember "fights" when I was in about 5th-6th grade, but 3rd grade...come on! We have also had some problems with a little girl in Hannahs class. Like you, I will NOT put up with my child being mean to someone else. However, after observing the dynamics of how they played, I realized that their fights were over jelousy. I ended up telling Hannah to be nice to everyone, include everybody, let things "roll off her back", and chill out. (She always seemed so stressed about the situation). Anyways, things have got alot better now. Thank goodness. Anyways, sorry about the novel.
Girls and girls and unfortunetly we can all be a little mean at some point. Your a great mom that teaches your girls right! They will make good decisions! I miss you! I can't believe how old Aspen looks! She is so beautiful!
You know, it's really true, the third wheel being well, a third wheel. As long as there is an odd number of girls, there will always be one who is left out. I guess not always, but it makes things much harder.
I think the best thing you can do is really talk to her and give her some responsibility for her own behavior.
Explain that she has an ability to hurt someone or help someone and it's easy to do both. In the end she needs to be kind because she wants to, and not because she has to.
I have three girls and I worry about this a lot. Especially because they are pretty. I want to make sure they are nice to EVERYONE. Not just the cool kids, and especially the underdogs.
Good luck. You are a great Mom and your daughter seems like a great kid. It's a tough lesson to learn, but if you are diligent and patient with her she will. And she will be so the better for it.
And let her know that you know what a good kid she is and that you "got her back." Meaning, when the other girls Mom comes a tattlin' you stick up for her and find a resolution in private. My kids seem to try much harder when they know I'm pleased.
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